Saturday, September 8, 2001

Fairer Cheaters?


I was planing to do this for a while, withholding articles from you (I feel so ashamed) which are stored in my mailbox. This is about the double standard on female cheaters vs male cheaters but I couldn´t say it any better than this "Yahoo - asker"

Quote:
I've noticed something rather strange and tragic. A lot of people on here talk about how they've cheated on their spouses, but the real interesting part is reading everyone's reactions.

I've noticed a huge difference in how women react to cheating wives vs. cheating husbands. When women post a response about a cheating wife, they talk about how the wife is probably confused, not getting enough attention, indecisiveness, being insecure, how the husband could have done something different, etc.

But when women respond to a cheating husband its a like a war invasion! They talk about amputating penises, getting alimony, getting AIDS, and the like. Its real brutal stuff!

Women: Why does the cheating wife get a slap on the wrist, or even a free pass but the cheating husband deserves 18th century torture, Hell and misery? What gives?

----------------------------

One Answer I liked:

I've often made the same observation only more succinctly.

Wife cheats = the man's fault.

Husband cheats = the man's fault.

Everything is the man's fault and men are the root of all evil. It's a societal issue and the stereotype of men is propagated by radical feminism to further their agenda... an agenda that has firmly entrenched itself in our laws and legislation in an effort to further their misandric agenda. The media is no help.

Because by doing so, with the support and resources of the federal and state governments - there is a tremendous financial incentive to do so.

Today, the divorce rate is so high due to no-fault divorce. If you have kids, for women - that means they hold all the cards.

A man today has to realize that, love and "the dream" aside, the risks to men/fathers far outweigh the rewards. Check the source.

Family court is tilted heavily in favor of women/mothers. Moms have all the rights, get all the benefits, and dad is too often relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being an ATM machine for mom. He can lose half (or more) of the cash, cars, house, investments, etc... and worse - the children.

Seriously, if I had known then what I know now about how the divorce machine sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, I'd have had a vasectomy at 18 (and I love children - have two of my own).

With no-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and families) you don't need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don't have to feel like being married anymore - and with that reality comes the truth - a marriage is no longer a contract, so what's the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone "doesn't feel like it anymore?" With women (who have children) initiating almost 3/4 of divorces today (most men don't even see it coming), it's the smart man who chooses not to get married and certainly not have children... and that's a shame.

Some great books on the subject available at the source...
Difference between how women view cheating husbands and cheating wives? - Yahoo!7 Answers

I do believe there is truth in this. Do you remember the movie "True lies"? In that action flick Jamie Lee Curtis the wife of our action hero Arnuuuuld Schwarzenegger almost cheats with Gary Oldman or Bill Paxton (I already lost a bet on that but keep forgetting who plays that role). Arnuuuuuld aware of this gave us the "It is all my fault look" when he learns that his wife was just searching the adventure escaping her dull domestic life while her husband did not show enough affection. Clearly his fault.

This didn´t show enough affection thingie was something I found while I searched something different, and which is the piece I am writing this thread arround just read:

Quote:
The male prostitute was talking about the idioscyncracies of some of his women-customers, most of whom belong to the affluent class. One customer, the wife of a rich industrialist, took him to her bedroom and asked him to just keep looking at her for the whole night. She of course paid him his full charges and also tipped him over and above that.

Another customer just asked him to give a massage for her aching limbs for the whole night. The third one asked him to just go on kissing her all night long. The arrested male prostitute does not appear intelligent enough to concoct lies on these sensitive matters.

I am very sad that life these days has become so fast that the husband does not have time to look at his wife properly and appreciate her dress, jewellery, make-up, hair-do and her general appearance.

That poor woman-customer should have longed for her husbands approving looks and appreciating words. When she was sure that her husband would never care to look at her she paid money to this gigolo to have her fundamental emotional need satisfied.

In this case the husband of this woman is more depraved than the male prostitute. Of the three parties involved, the woman, her husband and the gigolo, it is the husband who needs psychiatric counselling, the most.

The women who wanted body-massage and kisses from the gigolo, might look more vulgar than the first woman who just needed to be looked at. But in their cases also there was an unsatisfied emotional need.

It is a psychological fact that every one needs physical contact one way or other. I am not talking about the sexual need which is on a different plane. Apart from sex, both men and women need to be touched, patted, hugged by their loved ones, be it their spouses or their children or their friends.

I am not saying one should hug or go physical with any person of opposite sex when it is not proper or socially accepted. But within the house there has to be frequent physical contact between the husband and wife. Shaking hands, hugging or just holding hands while walking or watching TV- all these small acts reinforces the emotional bonds between the spouses and nurtures our emotional health.

When these basic emotional needs are frustrated either by our mindless lifestyles or the uncaring husbands , the deprived women might resort to the ultimate step of summoning a gigolo to their bedrooms.

Please don’t mistake me, I am not at all supporting the acts of these women customers; I don’t even justify them. But I am sad that their husbands have not given them their emotional nutrition which has pushed them to the extreme state of being in the company of another man and even paying for it.
The Confessions of a Male Prostitute – A Sad Warning! - IndusLadies

This was from India but I believe this romantical view on females going to prostitutes is in our society as well. Men cheat and go to prostitutes while women are nurturing angels devoted to their husbands. Those articles don´t fit in this view:

Quote:
3 in 4 B.C. boys on street sexually exploited by women
Vancouver Sun, Gerry Bellett , Canwest News Service, Tuesday, May 27, 2008

VANCOUVER - Canada's largest study into the sexual exploitation of street kids and runaways has shattered some myths about who the abusers might be - with the most surprising finding being that many are women seeking sex with young males.

"Some youth in each gender were exploited by women with more than three out of four (79 per cent) sexually exploited males reporting exchanging sex for money or goods with a female," said Elizabeth Saewyc, associate professor of nursing at the University of British Columbia and principal investigator for the study conducted by Vancouver's McCreary Centre Society. . . .

"I must admit it wasn't something we were expecting.". . . . . .
3 Out of 4

On the other hand I thought....no showing affection? Wait a minute that is sth women do a lot:

Quote:
United Press International
07-02-2004
Study: women punish by withholding sex

LONDON, Jul 02, 2004 (United Press International via COMTEX) -- About 40 percent of British women deny their partners sex out of anger, a Good Housekeeping magazine survey has revealed.

Besides the two in five who withhold sex out of anger, one in five women also refused sex to assert control in the relationship, the Sun reported Friday.
Withholding sex...

Or the other one (women asked):
Quote:
Do you withhold sex from your partner?


53% (257) Yes
46% (221) No 478 voters have answered this question.


Why do you withhold sex?


21% (64) To punish him
42% (125) To manipulate and control him
22% (65) To make a point
13% (41) To tease him 295 voters have answered this question.



How often do you use withholding?


39% (174) Never
14% (63) Seldom
25% (113) Frequently
20% (90) When ever necessary 440 voters have answered this question.



Do you find withholding is effective?


30% (109) Never
13% (48) Seldom
22% (80) Frequently
34% (125) It never fails
Mister Poll: Withholding sex

I had some dispute with Tera before as she argued that 40% is low given that someone angry is not in the mood to have sex. BUT that was not the question asked. This fits in my view on punishment (vs the view to not be in the mood):

Quote:
Jamie didn't feel like making love with Brad after he'd forgotten about their plans to go out for dinner. He had stayed late at the office and arrived nearly an hour after their dinner reservations had expired. Brad told Jamie he was very sorry, but Jamie's feelings were still hurt.


As the two lay in bed, Brad caressed her in the way that usually signaled his desire to be intimate, but Jamie let out a mocking laugh. Without saying a word, she turned away from Brad and shut her eyes. Brad stared at the ceiling well into the night while hurting inside. The space between them felt like a mile and Brad felt alienated and rejected.


It's very true that Brad should have placed more importance on the dinner Jamie had planned. His carelessness ruined what could have been a pleasant evening and hurt Jamie's feelings. However, perhaps you've heard the popular saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right."


We should all be able to sympathize with Jamie. She was hurt and wanted Brad to know how badly. Maybe she wanted to get back at him.


By openly rejecting physical intimacy with her husband, Jamie deeply hurt Brad. When the hurt diminished, Brad became bitter towards her. Not only did she reject him but she also rejected an opportunity to reconcile with him through physical oneness. The only thing she accomplished by withholding sex was to hurt Brad. If that was her goal, she succeeded.
Withholding sex...

Punishment is for parent / child relationships, not those in which both members are supposed to be equal.

This piece by Dr. Laura upset feminists:

Quote:
Dr. Laura: Women share blame for cheating men

Syndicated radio talk show host stirs controversy with remarks about wives


Dr. Laura Schlessinger has never been one to shrink from controversy, and she leaped headlong into one on Monday when she said that if a husband cheats, his wife may share some of the blame.

“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,” the popular psychologist and radio personality said.



[...]


But, she persisted, frequently when there is infidelity in marriage, both spouses share the blame.


“You’re saying the women should feel guilty that they somehow drove the man to cheat?” asked TODAY co-host Meredith Vieira.


“The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving,” Schlessinger replied. “But, yes, I hold women responsible for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.


[...]


“The point is, what he’s done is wrong. The point is, what she’s done is wrong,” she said. “I have kept marriages together after affairs because I have reminded women that you have the power to turn this around. He had his children with you. He has his future life plans with you, his dreams, his whole mind, body and soul was wrapped up in the promise of you. If you now turn that back on, all that stuff you turned off because ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I’m irritated’ or ‘I’m annoyed’ or ‘I’m self-centered’ — if you turn that around, you have that man back.”


She said that there are reasons why men look outside the marriage for sex and companionship.



“I would challenge the wife to find out what kind of wife she’s being,” she said. “Is she being supportive and approving and loving? Is she being sexually intimate and affectionate? Is she making him feel like he’s her man? If she’s not doing that, then she’s contributing to his wrong choice.”


comments:


“Dr. Laura is correct. Men cheat and women cheat. I wish everyone would stop acting like Dr. Laura has done something wrong when all she has done is point out the obvious,” wrote a viewer calling herself Heater. “It is human nature to seek out comfort when they are not receiving what they need at home.”


Schlessinger said later in the show that there are some instances in which it doesn’t matter what the wife does.



“If he’s sociopathic or narcissistic, all bets are off,” she said. “The woman can be the best person in the world, and he’s going to be a jerk.”
But most men aren’t like that, she said, adding, “The average husband longs for one thing, and that’s to be special to his woman.”
Dr. Laura: Women share blame for cheating men - TODAY: People

I believe the bold part is true. Well feministing calls her a women-hater for this ( Dr. Laura (shockingly!) thinks men cheating is women's fault - Feministing ). Welcome to the club.

This Times article was on spot as well. It is not only men who do not show affection so women cheat, but women as well by refusing to have sex:

Quote:
Not tonight, dear . . . in fact, not ever

Feminism gave women control of their sex lives, but has it gone too far? Author and sex expert Dr Pam Spurr argues that many women are risking their relationships by saying ‘no’

[...]

Closer examination of their relationship revealed that Emily hadn’t had sex with her husband for many months. When I pushed Emily gently on this she was incredibly defensive. It was her view that she was too busy with her career and raising their son to give any thought or time to sex.



Over the past two decades I have worked as a psychologist, life coach and sex expert, and I have found that Emily’s attitude is all too common. And such views don’t bode well for the success of relationships. With increasing frequency, women in their twenties, thirties and forties take a pragmatic, postfeminist view that sex is something over which they have no need to negotiate. In the bedroom, there is no compromise. If a man has a higher sex drive than a woman, then he can sort himself out. If he wants to try something new and she can’t be bothered, tough luck to him.



[...]


Olivia, a 39-year-old investment consultant, was less fortunate. She had wanted to make certain financial investments that her husband was against. Issues about their finances spread bad feeling into all other areas of their life and, like a stone dropped in water, the ripples from their acrimonious “discussions” reached far and wide.



When Olivia found that the stress of their differences diminished her sex drive, she felt completely justified in suggesting separate bedrooms. As she recounted to me – with bitter regret, after their divorce – sex had been the last thing on her mind. Her biggest mistake was not considering what was on his mind.



Having researched my new book, as well as talked to thousands of men and women over the years, I now firmly believe that too many women see the sexual side of their lives as something to be claimed completely and utterly as their own. That’s fine for single women flexing their sexual muscles.



But once they settle into a relationship, many will continue to do so. This doesn’t make sense to me at all – and unfortunately I’m privy to the heartbreak and distress that goes along with this view.



Like it or not, a sexless life is at the root of much heartache and many affairs and/or relationship break-ups. And although lack of sex can often be a symptom of other problems that lead a relationship to break down, it can also be the cause.



At the risk of being called old-fashioned (though I don’t think that old-fashioned should always have negative connotations) and antifeminist, I’d go so far as to say that for both partners sex could be considered a duty, if it is something that one partner knows would make the other happy.



Does he really want to go up on the roof to repair a leak on a Sunday afternoon?



Does she really want to take out the rubbish in the pouring rain? No, but partners in relationships do such things because they know that it makes the other happy. Sex should be seen in the same light.



I am not advocating submission. I oppose the idea that anyone should feel pressured into sex; I understand that the “sexualisation” of society often puts unnatural expectations on both women and men. I am merely pointing out that sex, as with other parts of a relationship, needs constant care and compromise. Why should the sexual area of a relationship be ringed by an emotional fence that makes it a no-go zone for discussion, while other areas are discussed openly, argued over and resolved?



Sometimes where sex has waned, both parties initially had different physical needs that were not discussed openly at the time. I have spoken to a fair few thirty-something women who settle down with a “decent chap” knowing that he’ll make a good father. On producing babies, though, many such men find themselves left out in the cold when they still desire the sexual warmth that they initially enjoyed. Such complete sexual pragmatism seems fair to these women, but what about the men? To them, sexually, men don’t seem to matter much once they have served their purpose.



Sometimes both partners feel that sex does not rank highly on their list of priorities. That’s fine. There’s no negotiation necessary when you’re both in agreement. But many women simply feel that their lives are too stressful, or that they are dealing with other relationship issues, and they don’t want to raise sex as yet another issue with which to contend.



That is a very dangerous place to be if the man doesn’t feel the same way. You may find, as Emily did, that he will seek sexual satisfaction without you. I certainly don’t justify infidelity but I can often understand why it happens. In contrast, when a woman’s sexual needs are denied, Heaven help the man responsible.


Jessica, 36, a political lobbyist, told me that she felt strongly that she and her husband were too young to give up enjoying sexual pleasure. It caused her much pain that he put long hours at work above consideration for their sex life. Tellingly, the reaction from many of her friends was “How dare he?”



That goes to the heart of this issue. As women, we have come to expect that we can control our sex lives completely – but we get angry when a man wants to do so.



Some may argue that sex is such an intimate and personal set of behaviours and beliefs that lack of compromise is justified. I would argue quite the opposite. It is because of its personal nature that sex should be explored between a couple. And by exploring their differences, and reconciling them, a couple’s attachment to, and love for, each other is often heightened.



In other cases I have found an even more disturbing attitude: that it’s fine to use occasional sex in a cold-hearted and calculated way as a favour or bartering tool for jobs well done by the man.



Amanda, a 38-year-old photographer, bartered sexual favours with her live-in partner when he did a particularly difficult piece of DIY or nasty bit of graft, such as unplugging drains. Using sex as a bargaining chip demeans both partners.



The solution is to take a holistic approach to a relationship and understand that every part of it – careers, finances, family issues, sex – needs nurturing and understanding. It’s the “only I count” sexual attitudes that are killing off much sexual intimacy.



Never be bullied into sexual activity that turns you off or be pressured into sex that doesn’t satisfy you. But always be prepared to discuss your feelings and desires and listen to his. Hopefully, that will improve your sex life and help to strengthen your relationship in other ways, too.



Dr Spurr’s book Fabulous Foreplay: The Sex Doctor’s Guide To Teasing And Pleasing Your Lover, is published by J R Books at £7.99. Order your copy at the reduced price of £7.59 (including free p&p) from Times BooksFirst, 0870 1608080;
Not tonight, dear . . . in fact, not ever - Times Online

And it is not only this aspect. Women cheat as well and apparently feel entitled to do so:

Quote:
According to a study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy in 2002, 55 percent of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship (compared with 60 percent of men). And here’s a far scarier number: After interviewing more than a hundred adulterous wives for her 2001 book A Passion for More, Susan Shapiro Barash found that 90 percent of them didn’t feel guilty about doing it—they felt entitled to do it.
THE NEW INFIDELITY

Reasons for women to cheat:
Quote:
Cheating women are not nearly as inclined to engage in infidelity purely for the sexual gratification. They tend to select a partner that they feel is an “upgrade” or somehow a better selection (i.e. the rock star or alpha male syndrome). They tend to engage in an affair with someone they want to be with and see over and over as opposed to simply finding someone that arouses them and giving them physical pleasure. The naturalistic view is that a cheating wife is simply following her instincts and looking to be with the “better” animal. She moves away from her husband to be with a man who is stronger, better off, smarter, etc. It is instinctual and natural. Although we do not buy into that idea whole heartedly, the truth is that a wife can want something more and may try and find it with someone else. This can range from finding someone she relates with better, all the way to being a gold digger and finding a guy who can give her more things than you. The “better man” theory, whether the other guy is better or not, holds true. If this is the case, the infidelity is likely to be a simple precursor to a new relationship and it is only an affair because she does not have the other guy locked in yet.

Another basic idea which everyone has heard of is that women often marry for security as opposed to love. The idea is that they need someone, so they get married, not necessarily to the man of their dreams. Along with this idea is its partner, the idea that women are always looking for the best mate they can find. They will “upgrade” if an opportunity presents itself. They are working on this “upgrade” while continuing to maintain their existing marriage.

A lack of sex or sex that is not satisfying is another major motivator the leads a wife to cheat. We have found that this is particularly true when the cheating wife tried to keep the sexual relationship with her spouse going strong but was met with disappointment. She stays in good shape, tries to be sexy and interesting for him and he is still bored with sex or worse yet, will not give her pleasure the way she wants it. There is no romance and no connection. A wife who has gone through this is far more likely to cheat when someone shows a true interest in her.

Paybacks are a bitch, and if you cheated on her, she may well pay you back by doing the same. Everyone has heard of cases of a wife cheating on her husband as revenge for his infidelity or believed infidelity. Women have come out of the cave and they have sexual power. It is far easier for a woman to get a man to have sex with her then the opposite. Women know this and many will cheat to get back or to level the playing field.

Some sexual behavior research indicates that the cheating wife may see herself as a victim of the “Little Woman Syndrome”. This is essentially a case where a working wife is made to feel like the “little woman” in her marriage rather than a partner. She works just as hard as her husband, but at the end of the day, she still has to raise the kids, clean the house and be the quiet wife so her husband can go out with the guys or watch TV all night. Working women who contribute a lot in the workforce and want to be treated with the respect they deserve come home to a life that they do not want. They are surrounded with people who treat them with respect at the office and they want the same from a marriage that will not give it to them. This is a wife who may cheat because she wants to be with someone who will treat her like an equal.

Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of a cheating wife is the overall idea that something is wrong in the marriage. At least one of them is unhappy and most likely both are. Someone’s needs are not being met and something does not work the way that either partner wants it to.
The Cheating Wife - Wife Having an Affair

And to make matters far worse men get cheated in a far broader sense of being cheated:

Quote:
Most females lie "more cleverly and successfully than men" about everything from infidelity and facelifts to barhopping and shopping binges, according to a new book.



"Women lie as a survival technique, but also to get what they want," said Susan Shapiro Barash, author of "Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie," published by St. Martin's Press this week.



[...]


Barash interviewed 500 women nationwide who answered her Craigslist ads seeking females to confide what they fib about. Among her findings:



* 75 percent lie about how much money they spend. For instance, they sneak purchases inside their homes after shopping or hide the price tags.


* 50 percent harbor "mixed feelings about mothering." One told Barash, "I look at these children and I crave sleep and free time. They wear me out and make me jealous of working women who have no children, no husbands."


* More than 60 percent cheated on their husbands. A 32-year-old mother conducted her trysts while telling her trusting husband she was working late. Even in asking for a divorce, she withheld the truth: "I didn't say I had fallen for another man. He was better off with my lies."


Many women use the "betterment lie," as Barash calls it, as a means to an end.



A 30-year-old model romanced a middle-aged married man for the money. After snagging him, she faked her affections: "I say 'I love you,' and don't mean it."



More than 80 percent believe in "beneficial lying." A New Jersey mom doesn't tell her well-behaved daughter about her own wild teen years of marijuana and partying.



Urban women favor the "competitive lie," Barash said. "You lie about money and cosmetic surgery. Your out-of-work husband is a 'consultant.' You embellish your kids' accomplishments, or downplay their SAT tutoring."
MISS-LEADING - New York Post

Quote:
Which immediately brings to mind the problem of trust that many men are confronted with today. Should men trust women when they make the same claim? How many times has a man been duped into fatherhood by an opportunistic woman?


Well, according to a Cornell University study, over a million American births each year result from pregnancies which men did not intend. What does this say about female reproductive accountability?



[...]


And third, most men do in fact deal with a pregnancy and the introduction of an unexpected child -- be it parental or fiscal responsibilities. There are more accountable single dads who have joint custody of their children than ever before in history.


An unwelcome power shift

As Glenn Sacks has said, "Power is the reward which comes with responsibility."

Indeed, because women have had to bear the burden of contraception, they have gained control over an integral component of human life, namely reproduction. The MBCP threatens to wrest that control from women to men.

Quite understandably, some feminists are concerned about this possibility.

And, I'm sorry to say, that's too bad.

Men are currently at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to the choice of reproduction -- but this is now set to change.

As an example, according to the 2004 National Scruples and Lies Survey (which polled 5,000 women in the United Kingdom), 42% of women claimed they would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, regardless of the wishes of their partners.

Wow.

Other evidence suggests that over 10% of children turn out not to be the offspring of the expected father when DNA tests are done, suggesting that many men obliviously help in the raising of children who are not actually theirs.

This is no laughing matter. Child support rates are increasing, with some fathers giving their ex's as much as 15 to 25% of their take home pay per child. And it's widely known that fathers are second class citizens in the courts. For example, in some U.S. states a father cannot present DNA evidence to disprove paternity.



For those men who truly don't want to have children—something that is completely within their rights—the MBCP will help them achieve that level of control.

And again, female claims that this will allow men to forever shirk their paternal responsibilities and live in perpetual adolescence are not just gross generalizations, but sexist statements of the highest order.
Sentient Developments: Sorry ladies, the male birth control pill is not about you

Quote:
Women "lie, cheat and steal"


8/12/2004

HALF of all women would lie to their husbands or partners to keep their relationship going if they became pregnant by another man, a survey said today.

Figures showed one woman in two would not tell her man that the baby she was carrying was not his - if she wanted to stay with him.

They also said four out of ten (42%) would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, in spite of the wishes of their partner.

The new survey of women's attitudes to truth, relationships, and behaviour, said the overwhelming majority (96%) admit to lying.

Almost half (45%) of the 5,000 questioned told the researchers for That's Life! magazine they tell "little white lies" most days.

[...]

One bizarre finding was that a third of women (33%) said they would stay with their husband if they found out he was a "secret transvestite", but only half that number (17%) would put up with him if he refused to wash.

Jo Checkley, editor of That's Life! magazine, said: "Modern women just can't stop lying, but they do it to stop hurting other people's feelings.

"It could be argued that these little white lies simply make the world go round a little more smoothly.

"But to tell a man a baby is his when it's not or to deliberately get pregnant when your partner doesn't want a baby is playing Russian roulette with other people's lives."

Eight out of ten women (83%) admit to telling "big, life-changing lies", with 13% saying they do so frequently.

Partners (70%) are most likely to be lied to by women, with friends (65%), parents (64%), customers and clients (58%) and bosses (57%) also being deceived.

Women will also lie to save people's feelings, with only 27% saying they would tell a man if he was hopeless in bed (although 36% would tell their friends all about it).

Meanwhile 54% would flatter a man if he asked them about his looks and only 46% would give the "brutal truth".

Despite this, most women (61%) want their partners to be "brutally honest" if they ask them "Do I look fat?" or "Do you think my best friend's attractive?"

Elsewhere the survey showed women's sweet teeth could often override their honesty, with more than half (54%) admitting to stealing sweets or chocolates.

Six out of ten (57%) admitted to stealing something, while one in four had taken from their parents. A quarter (23%) would "sneak a bottle or two" home if they were invited to a party by a well-off friend.

Half (49%) would "kiss and tell" to the media for '25,000 if they had a one-night stand with a celebrity, and 38% say they would marry purely for money. 23% would allow their man to sleep with another woman for '50,000.

Meanwhile, some 79% have got drunk at the office Christmas party, while a third admit to "getting off with someone they don't fancy" and 5% have ended up having sex with the boss.

An alarming 31% of all women say they would not tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease. This rises for 65% for single women. Sex

Nearly half (46%) fake orgasms and more than half (55%) claim they are tired, have a headache, or feel ill to "get out of lovemaking".

A fifth of women with a long-term partner (19%) say they have cheated on him by having an affair, while 30% of all women have had an affair with a married man.

Most women (68%) do not trust their partner.
Women "lie, cheat and steal" - News - Manchester Evening News

In conclusion I am just asking for fairness. A lot of men and women alike cheat, lie and are certainly not people we want to be arround. Just keep the double standards out of it.

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